Friends of the Badge

Posted on February 12, 2019

Friends of the Badge

Collaborative Community Effort in Action

Imagine you are a survivor of domestic violence and in need of help. You're scared, embarrassed, and don't even know where to start. How do you know who you can trust? How do you know that if you leave you will be able to keep yourself safe? What if your abuser tries to get custody of your children? If you do come forward, will anyone believe you?

These questions and fears are exactly why the collaboration between law enforcement, the criminal justice system, and Friends of the Family is INCREDIBLY important. The way to truly keep victims safe, and hold abusers accountable, is through a collaborative community effort. At Friends of the Family, we are proud to help victims of domestic violence and sexual assault on their way to safety, hope, healing, and justice, and help prevent these crimes through community education. But we cannot do it alone. Every program that we have is enhanced and made more effective by the actions of others to stand up for victims whenever possible. This includes law enforcement, attorneys and judges in the criminal justice system, school districts, political representatives, and more.

So what does collaborative community effort look like? It looks like the police officer that keeps DCFOF pamphlets in their car to hand out to any domestic violence victim they come across, whether they are ready to press charges against the abuser or not. It looks like the CPS worker who instead of finding fault with the victim parent for staying in the abusive relationship, supported that parent by referring them to DCFOF and holding the abuser accountable for the unsafe situation. It looks like a judge ordering mandatory BIPP classes (Battering Intervention and Prevention Program) for any abuser that comes across his docket. It looks like the school counselors across the County that schedule our community educators to come out and speak to kids about warning signs and preventing violence. It looks like the local attorney who refers potential victims to DCFOF for support every chance that they can. It looks like local churches and community organizations coming together and asking how they can help support victims in our community.

All of these things are happening in our community and it makes a HUGE impact! These actions, as small as they may seem, are what make a collaborative community effort to support victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in our community. We may have a shelter and a whole host of programs, but we can only make it so far on our own. We need you!

This is why we host the annual Friends of the Badge luncheon. One of the most important parts of our community collaboration is with our first responders, law enforcement, and the criminal justice team who see victims and perpetrators every day. It is within your power to continue to change the way our community handles these cases, and we are very grateful that you choose to partner with us to make our community one of safety and empathy. This is our chance to say thank you for everything that you do for our clients every day. You make a difference!

We are in need of sponsors to make this event happen! We want to give a big SHOUT OUT to Coker, Robb, & Cannon for being our title sponsor of Friends of the Badge this year! Click below learn more about sponsorship and how to be a part of this collaborative community effort.

LEARN MORE

Questions? Email KShields@dcfof.org

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Discussing Dating Violence

Posted on February 6, 2019

Discussing Dating Violence with a Friend or Loved One 

Have you started noticing that your friend or loved one is in a relationship that does not appear to be healthy? Their significant other needs to know where your loved one is at all times, demands that they have access to your friend’s social media pages, and has the password to their phone and other accounts? Have you heard the partner belittle or verbally put down your friend? Is your friend never available to hang out with you because their significant other demands all their time? These are a few of the warning signs that your friend or loved one may be in an abusive relationship. 

Talking to a friend or loved one about your concerns regarding a potentially abusive relationship can be difficult to navigate, especially if the friend or loved one doesn't see what you see or refuses to hear what you have to say. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month or #TDVAM. Teen Dating Violence is defined as “the physical, sexual, psychological or emotional aggression with a dating relationship, including stalking. It can occur in person, or electronically and might occur between a current or former dating partner”. (Learn more here) Being a teen is already difficult as it is, going through puberty, adjusting to new social and peer standards and of course dating. Among female victims of intimate partner violence, 94% were age 16-19 and 70% age 20-24, were victimized by a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend. Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year. 

So, how does one talk to someone they care for about the relationship they are in? 

The first step is starting the conversation. Inform the friend or loved one that you have noticed certain things that concern you or things have changed, provide examples, and then ask if they have noticed these things as well. If they have, or even if they haven’t, ask how they feel regarding what you have noticed.  

Follow their lead; if they want the conversation to end, respect that, but relay that you are there for them if ever they need you.  

Remain supportive. Your friend or loved one may not recognize the abuse and may not be ready to end that relationship. That is their choice. Don’t judge them for these feelings, keep an open mind, and if the time is right, let them know of different resources available to them, online and from trusted adults. 

Now that dialogue has begun, keep your communication open. Your friend needs your support and for you to listen, not to close them off. Threatening to no longer speak to them if they do not leave their partner or demands/judgments can end up isolating them even further and can do more harm than good. Instead, remind them that you only want to help and that when they are ready, you will be there for them. Verbalizing these positive reminders that they have your support can be encouraging when they are ready to leave their partner.  

When in need, ask for support. If you feel your friend is in immediate danger or that their life is at risk or has been threatened, call 911. Talk to a trusted counselor, adult, or call our 24-Hour Crisis Line (800.572.4031) if you want to learn about how to better support your friend. Remember that boundaries, warning signs, and healthy relationships are not as clear when you are in an abusive relationship.  

The first thing to say to your friend or loved one when they tell you that they have been abused, is, “I believe you and support you”. Your belief in them will be all that more powerful of a supportive tool than anything else. Sharing that one is a victim of abuse can be frightening, oftentimes the biggest fear being that they won’t be believed, that is why it is vital that you not only believe them but also verbalize that belief. Then, help them safety plan by connecting them to resources like Denton County Friends of the Family, via our Crisis Line 940.382.7273 / 800.572.4031. 

Believing in your friend or loved one, listening to them, and supporting them in any decision they make will be the best thing for them. And if they chose to stay with their partner, respect that choice, but keep in contact with them, remind them that you are there for them no matter what.  

Check Out These Additional Resources: 

Break The Cycle

CDC

Love Is Respect

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Meet Paige

Posted on January 28, 2019

Meet Paige, the newest member of our Marketing and Development team here at DCFOF!

She is our Community Resource Coordinator for Transitional Housing. As some of you may know, Transitional Housing is our newest program that we have had for about a year now. It is an incredibly important addition to our agency, helping us support the 99% of domestic violence victims that have suffered financial abuse and need time and support to build their lives up again before they take on their own rent. As a part of this program, Paige will support our growing Transitional Housing program needs and initiatives, take the lead on all in-kind donations for our clients, and engage our community through our Women’s Auxiliary!!

Paige is a Dentonite born and raised. She graduated in 2014 with a BS in Integrative Studies from UNT with focuses in Business Management and Public Affairs and Community Service. While attending UNT she also earned her certificate in Alternative Dispute Resolution and is a certified Mediator. 
Among her 11 years of experience in customer service, she has cultivated her professional skillset through her time as a higher education counselor and administrator. When Paige is not working, she enjoys hiking, practicing yoga, and getting crafty!

Paige is excited to be a part of DCFOF’s legacy by helping to create a community of awareness and compassion for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. Welcome to DCFOF!
 

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Welcome Sarah!

Posted on January 23, 2019

Meet Sarah!  

She joins our Prevention Education Awareness Program as a Community Educator here at Denton County Friends of the Family.  

Sarah completed both of her undergraduate (a B.S. in Psychology with a Minor in English) and graduate (M.A. in Counseling Psychology) degrees at Texas Woman’s University. While in graduate school, she got the chance to intern at University Behavioral Health of Denton with their Outpatient Adolescent and Adult programs (concerning such issues as substance abuse, sexual assault, psychiatric disorders, etc.) and the Denton County Jail where she provided individual counseling and taught psychoeducational courses to incarcerated individuals. She truly valued the opportunity to work with individuals going through difficult times in their lives and found a sense of fulfillment in it. 

She chose to work at Denton County Friends of the Family because she truly believes in the values expressed here. She admires the work DCFOF has done for the community and wanted to be a part of something bigger than herself. Plus, she says she’s heard amazing things about the work atmosphere and knew that this was someplace where she could thrive! Sarah is most excited about getting to work as part of a team to teach others about issues related to domestic violence and sexual assault. Education is so important to her and she is looking forward to being able to work within Denton County to teach others about the work we do here.  

Please help us in welcoming Sarah to our team, we are excited to have her on board!

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Stalking Awareness Month

Posted on January 15, 2019

STALKING AWARENESS MONTH

HOW TO RECOGNIZE & COMBAT STALKING

Guest Blog Author: Jennifer Wyatt

January, 2019 is the 15th annual National Stalking Awareness Month (NASM). In July 2003, the National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC), in partnership with Representative Heather Wilson (R-NM) and Lifetime Television, at a Congressional briefing on Capitol Hill, told the story of Peggy Klinke, a 33 year-old woman who had been brutally murdered by a stalker on January 18, 2003. This briefing focused on strengthening law enforcement’s response to stalking. Later that same day, Rep. Wilson introduced a Congressional Resolution to support National Stalking Awareness Month. 

SPARC (the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center) defines stalking as “a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.” Let’s break this down a bit. A pattern can be as little as two incidents, and while this behavior is directed at a specific person, we often see that family, friends, and/or coworkers are contacted by the perpetrator, as he/she tries to gain access to or information about the victim. Fear. Fear is difficult because it is a contextual emotion; what one person sees as fearful is not necessary fearful to the person right beside them. An example of this would be receiving flowers. In itself, receiving a bouquet of flowers at work is not a scary thing, it’s usually a happy surprise for most people but, what if that bouquet was sent from an abusive ex-partner? And you were unaware that they knew were you worked? Or knew where your work is located? In this case, that beautiful bouquet of flowers becomes terrifying. It’s for this reason that the term “reasonable person” is in the definition. 
 

Some RED FLAGS that would indicate potential stalking behavior are:
•    Unwanted phone calls or texts
•    Unwanted contact via social media
•    Unwanted gifts
•    Suddenly “showing up”, either approaching you or your family/friends
•    Monitoring your movements (so easy now with current technology)
•    Damaging your property
•    Threats (to you, your family, your friends, your pets)
•    Creating situations that will lead to contact with you
•    Not taking “NO” for an answer when asked to stop contacting you

If you feel that you are in immediate danger:
•    Call 911
•    Don’t confront your stalker. This most often makes the situation escalate
•    Tell people. The more people who know at home or work, the more the stalker’s behavior can be documented and monitored
•    Keep records of the stalking activity, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem
•    Change your daily routine so it is harder for you to be monitored

Who are victims of stalking? As with domestic violence, victims of stalking are all around us; they can be anyone. 1 in 6 women are victims of stalking, as are 1 in 17 men. Stalking can happen at any time to any person. If a woman starts changing her route home, changing where she grocery shops, or suddenly starts screening her phone calls, then that woman is afraid. It’s important to be able to recognize changes in behavior of our friends and loved ones in order to support them and help them. Here, in Texas, stalking is a 3rd-degree felony if it is the first offense, and a 2nd-degree felony if a repeated offense.

The most important things to remember are to trust your instincts, tell your family, friends and neighbors, notify the police and work with a domestic violence organization, like Denton County Friends of the Family if you feel you are being stalked.

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Black History Month Kick-Off

Posted on January 14, 2019

An Evening of Raised Awareness

GET TICKETS

Join us for our kickoff event for Black History Month- An Evening of Raised Awareness with Dr. Renee Hornbuckle! This event is brought to you by the DCFOF Our Community Matters Program, an outreach program to the African American community of Denton County to increase awareness of services and access to resources. This is our second year to host this fantastic event!

2018 PHOTO ALBUM

Meet The Speaker!

Dr. Renee Fowler Hornbuckle is a Senior Pastor, Community Leader/Advocate, Best Selling Author, International Speaker, Single Mother, Strategist (life/crisis/church), business executive, entrepreneur, sorority member, Founder of The Life Empowerment Training and Development Institute, CEO of InSight Consulting and Founder of Rachel's House (transitional living for women and families in crisis), Women of Influence, Inc. and Destiny Empowerment Enterprises, Inc. After a successful corporate career, she successfully transitioned into the faith-based and nonprofit sectors, while still pursuing entrepreneurship, as well as, sitting on numerous community boards. Overcoming many trials, a life-altering scandal and domestic violence, she has used her difficulties as fuel to propel her to greater purpose in which she has developed creative and life-changing systems, messages and tools that promote how to bounce back and live a victorious life! Dr. Renee is passionate about equipping people to fulfill their greatest purpose.  Dr. Hornbuckle’s expertise lies in crisis counseling, domestic abuse issues, and personal development.

Kick off Black History Month with raised awareness of the barriers faced by African American victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. All proceeds from this event go back into the Our Community Matters Program to support the African American community in Denton County with access to DCFOF resources.

When | Friday, February 1st

Where | Campus Theatre (214 West Hickory Street, Denton TX 76201)

VIP Reception & Private Book Signing | 6:00pm-7:00pm

Program & Keynote | 7:00pm-8:30pm

GET TICKETS
 

Want to learn more about Our Community Matters? Join the OCM Newsletter!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER

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